Let Yourself Off the Hook
Some time ago I started a business. I was sure that this was my vehicle for creating financial freedom. It’s a good business and I’ve derived great satisfaction from being able to assist people in creating more vibrant health for themselves. Yet, I had not achieved the financial success that I anticipated.
For a long time I blamed myself, thinking that I was doing something wrong. It triggered my underlying belief that I can never be enough or do enough.
One day, I felt that I was being advised that my leadership was no longer needed. (This was a misunderstanding that was later cleared up.) At first I felt angry and betrayed and then the thought came to me that this new situation afforded me a great deal of freedom. I celebrated.
Some time later I shared this story with a colleague and she said, “So you’ve let yourself off the hook.” For a few seconds I spiralled into my sense of not being enough. Then I heard a giggle in the back of my head and felt a smile come to my lips. The Voice said, “Esther, over the last few months you have felt more freedom, happiness and joy than you have for many years. It’s not because your physical situation has changed. It is, in fact, precisely because you have let yourself off the hook.”
I then had a vision of a wall with coat hooks and people hanging on the hooks flailing. I saw clearly that I had expended a lot of energy getting nowhere because I had myself on the hook of thinking I should do certain things in order to achieve certain outcomes.
My joyful experience came from doing what I’m inspired to do. It may not be the most fun thing I can think of at the moment but it’s what I feel “propelled” to do. My deepest desire is to enjoy each moment—not waiting for happiness to come to me along with some dreamed of accomplishment.
I remember some time ago someone said something that I was about to use to beat myself up. Again the voice came to me and said, “Esther, nothing she can think or say about you can diminish your value.” I started to sit up straighter. Then the voice said, “Esther, nothing you can think, do or say can diminish your value.” I sat up even straighter. Then the voice said, “Esther, nothing you can think, do or say can increase your value.” My value is eternal. Nothing in this human experience affects that in any way. WOW.
I’ve been repeating that story for many years and yet it’s only recently that it has really integrated. My moments of forgetting are fewer and they last a much shorter time.
I now mostly live in the knowing that I can only have perfect experiences. I can’t make a mistake. I can’t fail. I am always enough, always doing enough. And so is everyone else.
I challenge you to “let yourself off the hook”. Set a time frame–a day, a week, a month – and do only what you are inspired to do. Become the observer of what you are choosing. You might be worried that you won’t do what you think needs to be done. You might be surprised. There are days when I think I want to stay in bed. Previously if I stayed in bed after that thought, I would feel guilty or justify staying in bed. Then a few minutes later something would come to mind that I wanted to do and I’d hop out of bed. I had wasted the time in bed feeling guilty. Now if I stay in bed, I watch to see what will propel me to get up. That’s not to say that I ignore appointments. When I have been inspired to set an appointment, I keep it because it was inspired in the first place. It’s not so much that I’m doing different things as that I’m being different. I’m treating myself as a valuable treasured being.
There is so much more to be said about how I got to this place. I’ve written about it in a book called Giggle Factor. www.thegigglefactor.com